The Then and Now

I go through these times where I have a million and one things I could do, but take time to do something I actually want to do.

Write.

For some people, they use writing for venting, for comtemplation, for creativity, or just for sheer enjoyment.

I find myself in the latter group.

And in all the groups before it, as well.

It's funny - I could write about anything in the entire world. Actually, I have a list of things that interest me that I'm supposedly going to write about eventually, but right now, I just don't want to. I just want to . . .

Write.

I still remember last Thanksgiving. It was a pretty memorable one for me. The usual family came over (my one Uncle) and we had the usual Thanksgiving dinner with the usual five people. It's simple, it's traditional, it's just the way I like it.

But I'll never forget a certain conversation that I had with a friend. And now that I'm home this Thanksgiving, the conversation passes my mind and I think back to last year and how life was then.

THEN was when I was in a group. A clique. A whatever you want to call it. I wouldn't exactly call it a "clique" since it was "open" but why am I using all of these "quotation marks"?

THEN was when life had an ending. I saw life as a box, with walls. I knew what I wanted at the time, and nothing else seemed to matter.

THEN was when I was caught up in the moment . . . all the time. I was always caught up with what happened yesterday, and the homework for tomorrow always seemed to get itself done . . . just not well.

THEN was when I thought that life couldn't get any better or any worse, all at the same time. I thought I knew heartache, and I thought I knew love. And I think I sound like a drunk poet . . .

But then. . . was THEN. This is now.

Now's not Then's greatest friend. Actually, they don't even like each other. At least in my world.

Now I'm learning I don't know what's going to happen from today to tomorrow. And it excites me. I don't have all the answers, and it's a good feeling.

I'm learning to live outside of the box. Not the cliche, but the actual box that I built last year. Well, figurative speaking . . . unless, of course, I'm referring to the dorm . . .

Today, I write. I think. I imagine. I plan. And then I laugh when my plans don't turn out right. But what I plan for most of all, like my good, REAL LIFE friend DAN, is . . .

To be surprised.