I think the best part of life is that it's unexpected. No one wrote a guidebook or Life for Dummies. How can words really do justice the feelings I feel? Sometimes my breathing will get harder and my head will get hot, and I'll be thinking of regretting moments from the past semester, from high school, and even the times when I was just a little kid.
I remember this one time . . . I had wanted this bike. I already had an old bike, but I really wanted this particular bike. It had these colorful stones on the spikes of the wheel, and I thought that it was the best bike I had ever seen. I didn't want the hand-me-down bike from my sister - I wanted this special bicycle. I remember my dad looking at me and trying to convince me that my sister's old bike was just as nice as that colorful bike that I wanted. It was an 8-speed bike that rode just as smoothly. But I couldn't be swayed. Eventually, my dad gave in and bought me that bike I had so desired.
I can't tell you how many times I wish I wouldn't have done that. I know that my dad surely doesn't hold any feelings of resentment against me for "being a kid," for wanting something that I didn't need without realizing the costs involved. Yet if I could take that back . . . I would.
I've never forgotten that story. It's a good one. It's a story that reminds me that I've done a lot of stupid things, even (or should I say, especially?) when I was younger.
I think that everyone has stories from the past, and slowly, everyone's writing his own life story. Maybe it's unnatural for someone to bring up a story that's regretful, as silly as it is, but it's a part of my life, and I'll never forget it.
There are parts of my life that I get impatient to live through, yet I keep trying to focus on the present. I've always been a person to focus on the future . . . what is it about the present that makes it difficult to focus in on?
It's easy to daydream about the future. It's sad and rewarding to think about the past. But to enjoy the present - that time that's getting written as I speak . . . wow. Now that's something.
3 comments:
Once again, you have touched a topic that hits home. All too often I look back on my past and regret an action that I have made. Take comfort in the fact that Romans 8:28 is true: "All things work together for good . . ."
Griff, i have the opposite problem. I focus to much on the present and not enough on the future.
Haha, really? That's kinda interesting. I wouldn't call THAT a problem, but I guess we're all different.
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