So for those who do visit my blog, you can see that it's...changed. Don't know how much I'm really a fan of the changes, but I'm planning to do some more different things when I find the time (that hasn't been wasted on something else or other).
It's interesting when someone mentions to you that he is searching for the meaning of life. No one has told me that recently, but I've been doing some contemplating of my own. While my eternal destiny rests in my Savior, my mind has been plagued about my future, what field I'm entering in, and what exactly to do with myself the next few years.
I tend to overthink, but I feel like the future is something that you can't keep putting off thinking about until tomorrow. I don't want to wake up one day and realize that I should have planned better for those next years in my life.
While I'm an English Ed major right now, I can't help but feel confused. I want to get involved in the area where God wants me, but I'm still a little clueless as to where He wants me. I'm just relying on Him right now and praying that I'm doing what's right for my future. But to quote a clique statement that is appropriate: "God helps those who help themselves."
That statement has been interpreted in a number of different contexts, but this is my finding: yes, God will lead you where He wills, but He's not going to bless you for sitting on your butt and doing nothing.
Something else that I've talked about with friends and learned in Sunday School: The will of God isn't something that you discover, but something that you need to go out and do. No, I find myself wondering from time to time, What does God want me to do with my life? How am I supposed to know? Why can't He just write a message in the clouds?
If only life were that simple. Guess it would take away from the fun complexity of all life's craziness then - that, and the satisfaction of finding the answers to all of those probing questions you wondered about.
I'm still at the point, even at 20 years old, of trying to figure out exactly what I'm good at. I don't want to do something that I'm only mediocre or okay at performing - I want something where I can really make a living out of. Something that's going to give me a sense of accomplishment at th end of the day. Something that's going to encourage me to return to day after day. Something that I'm going to be able to use to help people. Something that I'm going to be able to turn around and not tell people "you're welcome," but instead smile, knowing that my life has been a blessing to someone else. That is what I'm looking for. That is what I'm searching for, and what I want to find. Some day maybe . . .
My mom seems to always "discover" the things I'm supposedly good at. She's always found the best in me when I never even knew I was half good at something. I'm really thankful that she's been one of the few people who's always encouraged me to pursue my dreams and reminded me that I am capable.
So right now, I'm here...searching, praying, thinking, hoping, dreaming, wondering, imagining...and so much more.
2 comments:
Keep searching, praying, dreaming...God will show you what is best. I have often been told that God's will isn't something you find, but I agree with you, sometimes I wish He made it a little more obvious that I am doing the right thing. I'll be praying with you. God never fails and I know that He has something amazing planned for your life. Oh, and Mom always knows best. :)
I just had to let you know that I LOVE all of the new quotes. Very good selection. Your changes always keep me coming back (I would still come back anyway...oh man, that came out wrong...). :)
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