Proofs that I have hideously bad luck:
1. I just misspelled "luck" up above as "look" and had to change it.
2. I wrote the wrong paper for my history class and have to write an entirely new paper.
3. I'm part of the 90% of Americans who want to quit their jobs but have no choice.
4. I am sick with only a cold, which gives everyone the liberty to say, "get over it, you're fine" while I really feel miserable.
5. My room has been messy for months and I have no found the time nor energy to clean it yet this summer.
6. I was supposed to send in my Sophomore Fieldwork Packet a month ago, but forgot.
7. This is a stupid list that I'm going to stop now . . .
So now that all of my complaining is out of my system (or so you hope, right?), I'll get over myself. Personally, I do have a lot to be thankful for, and if I really started making a numbered list of all those things, it would go faaaaaar beyond that list up there.
I had this conversation with myself that went on inside of my head tonight. I think I thought about at least ten life issues all at once and seemed to find the courage to forget my problems. At times, I get really depressed thinking about all of those times in my life that get me down. And sometimes, that quote pops into my head (which I will botch up), "Always try to be extra nice to people, because everyone is fighting some kind of battle." I guess it reminds me that I'm not alone . . . at all. Maybe that's what makes these hard times a little comforting - knowing that no matter what I'm going through, someone else is facing a hard time, too.
Another thing I think about . . . sometimes I wonder when everything's just going to end. When are all the hard times going to go away? I mean, I watch some of the people in my life and can't help but wish that sometimes I had things they had or wonder what it would be like to be someone else for a day. I don't want to be someone else - I don't think I've ever wanted to be anyone besides me - but sometimes I think about what it would be like to be in someone else's shoes for a day.
I'm learning this summer that you have to forcibly make yourself choose to be happy, especially when things are going downhill. Coming into this summer, I was expecting it to be incredible compared to the difficult semester that I was leaving behind me. But what's happened so far this summer? My job was changed, I've made a visit to the emergency room, I've missed too many days of work (which cuts my pay big time) due to being sick, my room is a complete wreck, I'm struggling in my college class, I've been sick three times, I and my friends got rained out at Six Flags (after weeks of planning), my plans got changed to go to Chicago, I got seriously lost in Wisconsin, I have no money, and now I have to rewrite a paper that I'm totally confused about.
Those things were not going through my mind as the "ideal" summer when I got in the car to drive home.
But those things are so petty when I look at it. Sure, they suck - I'll say it again - they really SUCK - but . . . they aren't the only things that have been part of my summer. Good things have happened . . . there is no dress code at the community college, I finally got a car, I had a great time with friends in Wisconsin, I work at the same place as my best friend, I've made new friends at my job, and I've had some good times with my family.
So I guess life isn't so bad after all . . .
I think that many times, it's much easier to point out the bad times in life in order to have pity on ourselves and to ask people in a nonverbal way to pity us as well. I know that everyone struggles, and that we all face hard times and need people to help us through them . . . but I'm learning that I can't let those difficult things hold me down.
What always scares me off from writing things down like this is feeling hypocritical. So many times, I've gotten down and it seems like the world has stopped spinning and I will never be able to get up. I've been there too often, but there isn't really a whole lot of fun. Therefore, I'm working on not getting down as often as I do and when I feel bad, that I don't let it get the best of me.
Good night, all.
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1 comment:
I know this doesn't sound encouraging, but the bad things will never end. C'est la vive: that is life. Don't worry though, you're right, you have the power to change your outlook. Tom Farrell once said "Your attitude is your choice." I remember sitting in the chapel wanting to tell him all of the bad things that had happened in my day, week, year, and life. But as I began to think about it, I realized he was right. Hardships are part of the human life, but God has given us a choice about our attitude.
Thanks for writing Kris, you always say something just when I need it most. :)
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