"Trust me. Everybody is less mysterious than they think they are."
Claire Colburn seemed to know a lot about life, even though she spoke the contrary: I "don't know a lot about everything, but I do know a lot about the part of everything that I know, which is people."
Claire Colburn may be a fictional character, but how can I not admit that for some reason, I know exactly what she was saying.
I think a part of everyone is hidden from the world. I won't lie - I hate it when people claim that first impressions mean everything. I beg to differ. There is so much to learn about people, that a first glance and remark can hardly define what a person is really like.
Some people wear their emotions for everybody around them to know. I'm not a stranger to this, to my dispostion. And then you know those people who pretty much hide themselves from every person. That, I cannot relate with.
I think it's a difficult thing to find the balance between showing emotions when needed, and "hiding them for the benefit of others." To me, I believe that emotions should be expressed, feelings should be put out in the open many times, and not everything should be hidden away. After all, how can problems be fixed when we represent a false view of how we really feel? If I have a problem, but I'm blowing it off like everything is fine, how am I supposed to fix it when no one else even knows there's a problem in the first place?
I understand that we can't always make known to the world exactly how we feel. There are times when we need to (and I hate this word) "hide" how we feel.
I've also heard that if I want to be really boring, then I should say everything. I think that's a fairly true statement. If everyone knows everything about you, where's the excitement in discovering things about your? There isn't any.
So, my five friends that read so intently, I may not know much about anything. And ya know, I probably appear a lot less mysterious than I've intended. And maybe I wish I could have hidden feelings more often than I have. But that's what makes me, me. And that's all I can be, really. I wouldn't be who I am if I knew everything about everything. I wouldn't be who I am if I always hid how I felt from my friends. Every person needs to grow, needs to fix issues, and needs to strive to become better all the time - but I also want to be true to myself. So as I'm trying to become a better person, I still want to be me. In the end, all I really want to be is myself, only changing things when necessary.
And maybe this sounds crazy, but it seems like the more mistakes I make, the more I realize that I can be a better person. Maybe the best people in this lifetime have made the most mistakes. Well, made them, and learned from them.
Have you ever experienced a trial or situation that required you to give so much of yourself, that you didn't think life could get any more difficult? Every single semester that I've been at college, I have dealt with a problem that became "the hardest thing I ever had to do." You really learn about yourself and the problems that present themselves. Maybe I've been affected on a deeper level, but I really don't think I'm alone in expressing this.
Sometimes, I'll be on campus, and I'll be going through that really hard time, and I'll wonder if people notice how that trial is just tearing away from my soul. Sometimes I wonder if people notice. And then . . . and then . . . I ask myself a question: What about everyone else? I can't be that mysterious. You hear about the rumor and problems of people all around campus, but maybe it's hard to take into account that that "rumor" is collosal to the person experiencing it. I still remember hearing about a "significant" couple that broke up in the last few weeks of campus. It was one of those topics that everyone was so surprised about, but I can't even imagine what the two people must have been going through. I know that everyone doesn't take some things as difficult as I do, but I wonder what it must have been like having to deal with all of the compication, all of the pain, all of the embarrassment of everyone knowing, and still walking around campus, trying to mask all of that.
I think people do it all the time. Besides, what else can they do? They can't walk around, acting like the whole world has crashed down on them.
It just depends how mysterious they appear.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Thursday, May 22, 2008
No More Clicking
I won't be clicking my shoes again . . . well, for four months.
There really is no place like home, is there? My sarcastic tone remains undetected. I mean, seriously. There is NO place like home. No place.
What happens when that haven suddenly becomes the greater of two evils? Usually you'd use that phrase to refer to the lesser of two evils. But neither deserves the title of "lesser" right now.
I couldn't be happier to be home right now. I've been asked that million dollar question, "Aren't you glad to finally be home?" And my new reply always is, "Yes - I'm so glad. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else right now."
Sometimes I wonder if I'll choke on my words. And then again - I always do.
Complaining is useless. It's pointless blabbing about the various crap that passes through my seemingly short life. Life gives me too many reasons to be happy, regardless of the disappointments that occur from time to time.
So in all honesty, I'll admit: I am very thankful to be home right now. Actually, I've never been so happy to be home in the past two years as I have been this month. I knew I would be coming home to things I didn't really want to deal with - but that is life. No one promised it would be fair or easy. Plus, it's a change from the drama that was usually unfolding at school. Even a trial can hold a blessing in disguise.
My days seem to bounce back and forth so much. It seems like the ball is completely in my court, yet I just can't seem to figure out which way I'm supposed to shoot.
Okay, I'll drop the cheesy analogy that is going absolutely nowhere. There are days when I am more than thankful to just be home, away from the difficulties (and the life) of school. I love school to death, but going home was inevitable - vital - a must! And I will be the first to admit that home is where I belong right now, and it is the only place I truly want to spending my time for the next four months. But there are days, just like this one, that I wish I had somewhere else to be. But is that not my greatest weakness? Wanting to run away once a problem starts? Sadly, this problem didn't just "start." But it is a problem I have to deal with and live with from time to time, regardless. I don't want to run away, but sometimes I wish I had someone to wipe away the tears when life at home seems so hard. I'm so thankful that I have my Savior to depend on in all times of my need. What a comfort it is to know that I am never alone.
So you won't find me Dorothorizing my way through bad situations - well - to the best of my ability, that is.
Besides, I don't have any sparkly red slippers :-).
There really is no place like home, is there? My sarcastic tone remains undetected. I mean, seriously. There is NO place like home. No place.
What happens when that haven suddenly becomes the greater of two evils? Usually you'd use that phrase to refer to the lesser of two evils. But neither deserves the title of "lesser" right now.
I couldn't be happier to be home right now. I've been asked that million dollar question, "Aren't you glad to finally be home?" And my new reply always is, "Yes - I'm so glad. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else right now."
Sometimes I wonder if I'll choke on my words. And then again - I always do.
Complaining is useless. It's pointless blabbing about the various crap that passes through my seemingly short life. Life gives me too many reasons to be happy, regardless of the disappointments that occur from time to time.
So in all honesty, I'll admit: I am very thankful to be home right now. Actually, I've never been so happy to be home in the past two years as I have been this month. I knew I would be coming home to things I didn't really want to deal with - but that is life. No one promised it would be fair or easy. Plus, it's a change from the drama that was usually unfolding at school. Even a trial can hold a blessing in disguise.
My days seem to bounce back and forth so much. It seems like the ball is completely in my court, yet I just can't seem to figure out which way I'm supposed to shoot.
Okay, I'll drop the cheesy analogy that is going absolutely nowhere. There are days when I am more than thankful to just be home, away from the difficulties (and the life) of school. I love school to death, but going home was inevitable - vital - a must! And I will be the first to admit that home is where I belong right now, and it is the only place I truly want to spending my time for the next four months. But there are days, just like this one, that I wish I had somewhere else to be. But is that not my greatest weakness? Wanting to run away once a problem starts? Sadly, this problem didn't just "start." But it is a problem I have to deal with and live with from time to time, regardless. I don't want to run away, but sometimes I wish I had someone to wipe away the tears when life at home seems so hard. I'm so thankful that I have my Savior to depend on in all times of my need. What a comfort it is to know that I am never alone.
So you won't find me Dorothorizing my way through bad situations - well - to the best of my ability, that is.
Besides, I don't have any sparkly red slippers :-).
Monday, May 19, 2008
I Will Not Be Ashamed (or at least this once :-))
Care to be ashamed . . . or just ashamed to care at all?
I've been thinking (is that a good thing?) . . .
Actually, this thought has been rummaging around in my mind for quite a while. Just finding the time to force myself to sit down and actually write . . . is another.
Sometimes, I find myself ashamed to show that I care. Does that really make much sense? In my mind, it certainly does. And then again - it definitely doesn't. Why should I be ashamed to show that I care?
Ever feel like you weren't good enough for someone - maybe a friend? or that cute person of the opposite sex that you're just dying to impress? or maybe that person you've always looked up to and admired. I most definitely have. Where am I going with this? Just hang in there with me, k?
Maybe even that person felt like he or she was on a level higher than you. No, not better, persay, but higher, if that makes sense. But maybe you didn't get that impression. Maybe you felt like that person was always better than you - and he or she didn't care - OR was afraid to show that he or she cared because he (I'm getting tired of saying "or she" so I'm giving it up!) cared because he sensed that he was on a higher level than you.
What kind of "higher level" am I talking about? You probably think I'm nuts right now. Let me just attempt to explain the thoughts that run through my mind. Higher levels could be referring to better looks, older age, social status, better grades . . . the list goes on. Are you getting it yet?
Okay. So let's take that scenario - you feel like someone is better than you and/or that you're not good enough for someone. And maybe it's because that person is more successful or better in a certain area than yourself. Maybe that person knows that fact, and you feel as if he doesn't care. He just doesn't care that not only he's better than you in a particular area, but he doesn't mind that you feel inferior to him. He understands that he's on a - let's use our favorite phrase now - "higher level" than you are in a certain area, and he knows that you feel like the last person chosen for kickball in gym time.
Hopefully we have all of that down. Whew. Didn't think I could articulare that. And would you believe I haven't even made my point? Okay, so here it is.
Reverse that entire situation. Put yourself in the shoes of the one who achieves higher, or is more popular, or just performs better in a particular area. See yourself as the successful entrepreneur, the star of the basketball team, or the most popular kid in school. Now, see, I'm going on the high end here - I'm referring to the most well-known people, to the ones that shine out like lights and stand out in crowds.
Let's go back to the beginning. You're the one who feels like you might not measure up to a certain person. Maybe it's that good friend of yours. And you just never felt good enough, yet he doesn't seem to care. It's not that your friend isn't a caring person - it's just, he's too embarrassed to show that he does care, because he sees himself on a higher level than you.
Have you ever had a friend like that? Sometimes I think I'm just crazy . . .
Why would I use so much space to ask such a simple question that could have been summed up in one easy paragraph?
Because I think it's important, and I think people overlook it's importance. I think sometimes people are too afraid to show that they care. They're embarrassed to show that they just might actually care. Why is this?
I think people are concerned about losing status. You ever notice how people aren't afraid of complimenting the gorgeous girl - they're not scared of praising the jock or worshipping the footsteps of that amazing pianist. But then when it comes to those that they know well, they're afraid of complimenting them. They're afraid of how others may perceive them.
I sense that I'm making no sense. How can I put into words exactly what I'm thinking? I can't. Therefore, I BLOG! Not for the reason of getting people to agree with me - more to express what I'm thinking and feeling. People are open to their own opinions. More power to my fave five.
I was just bothered. I needed to write. I expressed my thoughts. I opened my mind to your criticism. I rest my case.
I've been thinking (is that a good thing?) . . .
Actually, this thought has been rummaging around in my mind for quite a while. Just finding the time to force myself to sit down and actually write . . . is another.
Sometimes, I find myself ashamed to show that I care. Does that really make much sense? In my mind, it certainly does. And then again - it definitely doesn't. Why should I be ashamed to show that I care?
Ever feel like you weren't good enough for someone - maybe a friend? or that cute person of the opposite sex that you're just dying to impress? or maybe that person you've always looked up to and admired. I most definitely have. Where am I going with this? Just hang in there with me, k?
Maybe even that person felt like he or she was on a level higher than you. No, not better, persay, but higher, if that makes sense. But maybe you didn't get that impression. Maybe you felt like that person was always better than you - and he or she didn't care - OR was afraid to show that he or she cared because he (I'm getting tired of saying "or she" so I'm giving it up!) cared because he sensed that he was on a higher level than you.
What kind of "higher level" am I talking about? You probably think I'm nuts right now. Let me just attempt to explain the thoughts that run through my mind. Higher levels could be referring to better looks, older age, social status, better grades . . . the list goes on. Are you getting it yet?
Okay. So let's take that scenario - you feel like someone is better than you and/or that you're not good enough for someone. And maybe it's because that person is more successful or better in a certain area than yourself. Maybe that person knows that fact, and you feel as if he doesn't care. He just doesn't care that not only he's better than you in a particular area, but he doesn't mind that you feel inferior to him. He understands that he's on a - let's use our favorite phrase now - "higher level" than you are in a certain area, and he knows that you feel like the last person chosen for kickball in gym time.
Hopefully we have all of that down. Whew. Didn't think I could articulare that. And would you believe I haven't even made my point? Okay, so here it is.
Reverse that entire situation. Put yourself in the shoes of the one who achieves higher, or is more popular, or just performs better in a particular area. See yourself as the successful entrepreneur, the star of the basketball team, or the most popular kid in school. Now, see, I'm going on the high end here - I'm referring to the most well-known people, to the ones that shine out like lights and stand out in crowds.
Let's go back to the beginning. You're the one who feels like you might not measure up to a certain person. Maybe it's that good friend of yours. And you just never felt good enough, yet he doesn't seem to care. It's not that your friend isn't a caring person - it's just, he's too embarrassed to show that he does care, because he sees himself on a higher level than you.
Have you ever had a friend like that? Sometimes I think I'm just crazy . . .
Why would I use so much space to ask such a simple question that could have been summed up in one easy paragraph?
Because I think it's important, and I think people overlook it's importance. I think sometimes people are too afraid to show that they care. They're embarrassed to show that they just might actually care. Why is this?
I think people are concerned about losing status. You ever notice how people aren't afraid of complimenting the gorgeous girl - they're not scared of praising the jock or worshipping the footsteps of that amazing pianist. But then when it comes to those that they know well, they're afraid of complimenting them. They're afraid of how others may perceive them.
I sense that I'm making no sense. How can I put into words exactly what I'm thinking? I can't. Therefore, I BLOG! Not for the reason of getting people to agree with me - more to express what I'm thinking and feeling. People are open to their own opinions. More power to my fave five.
I was just bothered. I needed to write. I expressed my thoughts. I opened my mind to your criticism. I rest my case.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Update for the Fave Five
It's summer. Woo-hoo. So I'm sitting at home, alone . . . and I'm sick. Not the best feeling in the world. Do I have words of wisdom to impart to my favorite five readers today? Well, I'm sorry, dear friends . . . I may let you down today; regardless, I feel it necessary to blog. Don't ask me why - besides, I don't have to have a reason! :-)
For all of those who would like to have an update on my life . . . here it is: currently, I've been working part-time at a childcare. I actually started working the first week-day that I came home from college. Although I didn't really get the happiest welcome from home, I was thankful to get my summer started in a jiffy. For the very first time, I got to be a substitute teacher for a fifth grade class . . . poor class! It was a continual, "So what does Miss Olson do about this . . . and this . . . and that?" Pretty funny, actually. One of the girls, as she left, said, "You were wonderful! You just have to come back!" Comments like that can only leave you in a good mood.
Today was my first official day of field work. If you're a facebook friend, you may have noticed my most recent status: "I feel like I'm back in Junior High." Well, it's slightly true. Talk about walking down memory lane. I'm working with one of my old Junior High teachers, Mrs. White. She's a great teacher. I still remember taking English from her, about 7 years ago. I can't believe it's been so long! Anyways, fieldwork was pretty interesting. It should keep me somewhat busy with work on the side with it for the next two weeks.
Meredith Andrews has stolen my ears and my heart with her music. I'm stunned, because I don't usually pick up on new artists or bands as quickly as I did on her . . . I mean, I only heard her last night!! So thank you, Christian, for introducing me to someone new!
I will officially be 20 years old next Saturday . . . and I'm pretty excited! I don't really get excited about my birthday like I used to, but it's a good excuse for getting my friends together to hang out. I guess 20 years signifies that I'm an adult . . . now is that a good thing? I'm not really sure. When I really think about it, what exactly have I done with my life in the 20 years that I've been alive? That's a really good question. Maybe I shouldn't have to ask myself that - then again, maybe I should.
Well, my life is not amazingly exciting, but that is what's going on with it for the very beginning of summer. I miss my friends from school, but I know that home is where I need to be right now.
Another thing I find ironic. Is there a better word, maybe ridiculous? I'm physically away, yet I don't feel like I can get away. It's like that Michael Buble song, "Home." He's surrounded by a tons of people, yet he feels utterly alone. Only thing is, I'm experiencing that song in reverse. I feel like I'm bodily "away," yet I feel like I'm still trapped, unable to get out of a hole that I digged, unaware. Talk about a frustrating feeling.
Oh, and I am still cellphoneless and carless. Not careless, mind you, but carless. A bit annoying, but unavoidable. I'm surviving, and I think that's what counts. Actually, I'm doing just fine without either, yet it can be annoying at times.
And that's my life for now. And I'm totally cool with that.
For all of those who would like to have an update on my life . . . here it is: currently, I've been working part-time at a childcare. I actually started working the first week-day that I came home from college. Although I didn't really get the happiest welcome from home, I was thankful to get my summer started in a jiffy. For the very first time, I got to be a substitute teacher for a fifth grade class . . . poor class! It was a continual, "So what does Miss Olson do about this . . . and this . . . and that?" Pretty funny, actually. One of the girls, as she left, said, "You were wonderful! You just have to come back!" Comments like that can only leave you in a good mood.
Today was my first official day of field work. If you're a facebook friend, you may have noticed my most recent status: "I feel like I'm back in Junior High." Well, it's slightly true. Talk about walking down memory lane. I'm working with one of my old Junior High teachers, Mrs. White. She's a great teacher. I still remember taking English from her, about 7 years ago. I can't believe it's been so long! Anyways, fieldwork was pretty interesting. It should keep me somewhat busy with work on the side with it for the next two weeks.
Meredith Andrews has stolen my ears and my heart with her music. I'm stunned, because I don't usually pick up on new artists or bands as quickly as I did on her . . . I mean, I only heard her last night!! So thank you, Christian, for introducing me to someone new!
I will officially be 20 years old next Saturday . . . and I'm pretty excited! I don't really get excited about my birthday like I used to, but it's a good excuse for getting my friends together to hang out. I guess 20 years signifies that I'm an adult . . . now is that a good thing? I'm not really sure. When I really think about it, what exactly have I done with my life in the 20 years that I've been alive? That's a really good question. Maybe I shouldn't have to ask myself that - then again, maybe I should.
Well, my life is not amazingly exciting, but that is what's going on with it for the very beginning of summer. I miss my friends from school, but I know that home is where I need to be right now.
Another thing I find ironic. Is there a better word, maybe ridiculous? I'm physically away, yet I don't feel like I can get away. It's like that Michael Buble song, "Home." He's surrounded by a tons of people, yet he feels utterly alone. Only thing is, I'm experiencing that song in reverse. I feel like I'm bodily "away," yet I feel like I'm still trapped, unable to get out of a hole that I digged, unaware. Talk about a frustrating feeling.
Oh, and I am still cellphoneless and carless. Not careless, mind you, but carless. A bit annoying, but unavoidable. I'm surviving, and I think that's what counts. Actually, I'm doing just fine without either, yet it can be annoying at times.
And that's my life for now. And I'm totally cool with that.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Indescribable
So what's your definition of love?
Everyone has a different one. Love means something different to every person. What have I found to be love? So many things. For me, love has been . . .
Confusing. Yeah, it's true. Maybe real love isn't supposed to feel that way, but for me, I'll yell it loudly and clearly - love is pretty darn confusing! This is a side of love that I did not experience until this past year.
Unquestionable. Maybe this would be the actual definition of what love really is. Maybe what I'm trying to say is that I have experienced a more questionable part of love. A part of love where I start to wonder if I love someone or why I love someone or if I should love someone a certain way.
Glazed. How do I explain that? Easy. Most people say that "love is blind," but I don't agree with that statement. If love were blind, then it would not be love at all. The reason that phrase is used is that people fall in love with a person, yet don't realize all of the problems that comes along with that love (usually for a person). I like to call it "glazed," because I think that in my case, I really did love, but my eyes were glazed over rather than blind. I loved, and I saw the problems, but I didn't do anything about it for the longest time.
WRONG. This is definitely true. Am I saying that it is wrong to love a person? Absolutely not. But maybe the kind of love with which you're loving a certain person is wrong. Maybe instead of loving a person for who he or she is, you love them for what they do or you put he or she up on a pedestal that was never real in the first place.
Disappointing. I have found this to be true in my own life. I never broke up with a boyfriend and I never dated a jerk. But I have been let down, disappointed, and in my own mind, forgotten. Sometimes the people you love the most disappoint you in unbelievable ways.
Painful. Of every definition for love, this may be the best one I could use for myself in the past year. Love is an incredibly painful thing. But maybe it's the pain that helps me realize that I really am loving, not just creating an idea in my own mind that I'm "loving" or "in love" with a person. Is this not a side of love that Jesus Christ experienced when He died on the cross?
Unexpected. Sometimes love comes from the craziest, most unexpected places. Who woulda thought how some people got paired up? I will attest to this truth: love is most definitely a suprise!
The list could possibly go on for a very long time. Those are the sides of love that I have experienced. But what is real love? I don't think that's a question any one person could answer on a whim, much less after great thought. If anything, love is real mystery to most. Some want to crack it's confusing code, some spend their entire lives searching for it, and some are content experiencing it in it's many forms.
I know people talk about love all the time. It just may be the most popular subject that's talked about in life, am I right? Our world, our lives, our relationships are all surrounded by "love." What other aspect could be painful and lonely or exciting and beautiful? Could one other thing be so diverse, so ecclectic, so versatile? And then you have the people who call love "a choice." This is, in part, true. For some people, love is the easiest thing ever. And then you have those people in your life that make love the most difficult thing in the entire world. It's those people that you have to choose to love - not the people that are amazing in your life.
Why are we so obssessed with having the romantic side of love? I'm not rebuking people, I'm sincerely asking this question? Why does our motives, our thoughts, and our desires continually revolve around that feeling of love, of wanting to be loved? Is that not our greatest desire in life? To be desired - to be loved - genuinely, positively, and wholly loved in this lifetime? Knowing that someone finds you attractive, appealing, the best person in the entire world - now wouldn't that be the greatest!
Did you notice that there are more songs written about love than any other subject?
Did you ever watch a movie that did not include even a hint of love, and in many cases, romance in it?
So many questions, such obvious, blatant answers. The most confusing part of life is sitting in the chair next to you, stairing you in the face, waiting for you to look over so it can smack you, and then smack some sense into you. Love is what you make it - love is defined by how you experience it, how you react to it, and what you decide to do with it. Love is not able to be defined, because it is different for every person, but ultimately, love is your decision.
Everyone has a different one. Love means something different to every person. What have I found to be love? So many things. For me, love has been . . .
Confusing. Yeah, it's true. Maybe real love isn't supposed to feel that way, but for me, I'll yell it loudly and clearly - love is pretty darn confusing! This is a side of love that I did not experience until this past year.
Unquestionable. Maybe this would be the actual definition of what love really is. Maybe what I'm trying to say is that I have experienced a more questionable part of love. A part of love where I start to wonder if I love someone or why I love someone or if I should love someone a certain way.
Glazed. How do I explain that? Easy. Most people say that "love is blind," but I don't agree with that statement. If love were blind, then it would not be love at all. The reason that phrase is used is that people fall in love with a person, yet don't realize all of the problems that comes along with that love (usually for a person). I like to call it "glazed," because I think that in my case, I really did love, but my eyes were glazed over rather than blind. I loved, and I saw the problems, but I didn't do anything about it for the longest time.
WRONG. This is definitely true. Am I saying that it is wrong to love a person? Absolutely not. But maybe the kind of love with which you're loving a certain person is wrong. Maybe instead of loving a person for who he or she is, you love them for what they do or you put he or she up on a pedestal that was never real in the first place.
Disappointing. I have found this to be true in my own life. I never broke up with a boyfriend and I never dated a jerk. But I have been let down, disappointed, and in my own mind, forgotten. Sometimes the people you love the most disappoint you in unbelievable ways.
Painful. Of every definition for love, this may be the best one I could use for myself in the past year. Love is an incredibly painful thing. But maybe it's the pain that helps me realize that I really am loving, not just creating an idea in my own mind that I'm "loving" or "in love" with a person. Is this not a side of love that Jesus Christ experienced when He died on the cross?
Unexpected. Sometimes love comes from the craziest, most unexpected places. Who woulda thought how some people got paired up? I will attest to this truth: love is most definitely a suprise!
The list could possibly go on for a very long time. Those are the sides of love that I have experienced. But what is real love? I don't think that's a question any one person could answer on a whim, much less after great thought. If anything, love is real mystery to most. Some want to crack it's confusing code, some spend their entire lives searching for it, and some are content experiencing it in it's many forms.
I know people talk about love all the time. It just may be the most popular subject that's talked about in life, am I right? Our world, our lives, our relationships are all surrounded by "love." What other aspect could be painful and lonely or exciting and beautiful? Could one other thing be so diverse, so ecclectic, so versatile? And then you have the people who call love "a choice." This is, in part, true. For some people, love is the easiest thing ever. And then you have those people in your life that make love the most difficult thing in the entire world. It's those people that you have to choose to love - not the people that are amazing in your life.
Why are we so obssessed with having the romantic side of love? I'm not rebuking people, I'm sincerely asking this question? Why does our motives, our thoughts, and our desires continually revolve around that feeling of love, of wanting to be loved? Is that not our greatest desire in life? To be desired - to be loved - genuinely, positively, and wholly loved in this lifetime? Knowing that someone finds you attractive, appealing, the best person in the entire world - now wouldn't that be the greatest!
Did you notice that there are more songs written about love than any other subject?
Did you ever watch a movie that did not include even a hint of love, and in many cases, romance in it?
So many questions, such obvious, blatant answers. The most confusing part of life is sitting in the chair next to you, stairing you in the face, waiting for you to look over so it can smack you, and then smack some sense into you. Love is what you make it - love is defined by how you experience it, how you react to it, and what you decide to do with it. Love is not able to be defined, because it is different for every person, but ultimately, love is your decision.
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